Goldman Sachs and The Nerd: A Synopsis of a Smash Musical

Act One

A post-surreal, post-post modern living room. The door to the post-nuptial bedroom is open.

Mark Zuckerberg (The Nerd) and his gorgeous girlfriend Lilith (her nickname; she subscribes to the post-feminist magazine Lilith, named after Adam’s First Wife, a Babylonian Demon) watch the news via post-high-definition television on the wall. The investment in Facebook of $439 by Goldman Sachs, along with an additional $50 million from a Russian firm, valuing the social network at $50 billion, is announced.

This is news to us, but not to them.

She says: Don’t you get any ideas. I am still in charge and I won’t allow you to get on top of me.

He says – what do you mean? I am now worth $50 billion!

She says: I know it’s twice what Starbucks is worth. But if you think for one second that gives you the right…

He seizes her and tries to carry her to the post-nuptial bedroom. She spits fire at him and runs off stage.

Act Two

The Garden of Eden.

The Nerd says to Eve: I am worth $50 billion. Goldman Sachs says so. Will you let me get on top of you?

Eve asks what is $50 billion?

The Nerd replies: It is more than United, American, Delta, JetBlue and Southwest Airlines combined.

Eve says: In that case, go right ahead.

He does.

Act Three

The Nerd, Eve at his side, addresses Goldman Sachs executives in a penthouse in the clouds.

He says: You have become the gatekeepers of the primary source of socialization for the younger generation. I will expect you to recruit the smartest psychologists and human behaviour experts on the planet to work for you to make sure that your investment triples in one year. You are in charge of the social conditioning of the future.

The door opens. Lilith appears, spits a sardonic hi to Eve and shouts:

This is the moment for the bubble to burst!

The bubble bursts.

• • • • •

Two new videos have been posted: Television — The Wave of the Future and Three Musicians Who Arrived at the Right Time: Helmut Blume, John Newmark and Franz Kraemer. Related stories about Maureen Forrester and Glenn Gould are on the Stories page.

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One response to “Goldman Sachs and The Nerd: A Synopsis of a Smash Musical

  1. Wot, just Goldman and a mystery Russian investor? No Swiss gnomes, Arab potentates, Indian pundits or evil henchmen…. must be a really low budget affair!